Expo 2009: Sponsors, nutters and the Michelin Man

So we are just back from the Motorcycle Expo at the NEC. This was a trade only event so we had to use some special tactics to get tickets. It's called telling lies. Anyway it was only a small white lie, not a big naughty one.

First stop was the Cambrian Tyre stand which gave us a chance to meet our tyre sponsors, Continental. They obviously have a pedigree in sponsoring less than sane events since there on the stand was Nick Sanders, the motorcycling legend who currently holds the world speed record for solo circumnavigation of the globe, in a mind boggling 19 days on a Yamaha R1. By contrast, if we have reached Kent in the same time period we'll be on track.

True to form we then decided to retire to the bar which gave us an opportunity to come up with a precision plan to attract more sponsors. Unfortunately the proceedings were interrupted, when the Michelin Man who had obviously taken exception to us doing a deal with Continental, stormed the bar and performed a "big daddy splash" on Matt.

Unlike The Stig from Top Gear, the Michelin Man's real name is not a closely guarded secret and is in fact "Bibendum". Though we have a sneaking suspicion he sent a stunt double to the NEC who was in fact a fat brummie called Ron.

Oh ok then, for those of you who STILL haven't heard who The Stig is, his name is Ben Collins. It's amazing really that our tabloid hacks can expose secret government plots but took bloody ages to work out who the bloke turning up on set in a Simpson Bandit helmet was.

After a few pints the proceedings livened up even further when Matt decided to exact his revenge on Bibendum. From a distance of 50 yards he took a run up and took out the chubster from behind with a perfect sliding tackle. Unfortunately it turned out to be a fat lass in a white puffa jacket. Apologies, we hope the carpet burns heal soon.


Next stop was another of our sponsors, the guys from BSH Solutions. They were delighted to hear that we had already put their "Linkstrap" product in to good use. Only last weekend we
were able to immobilise Nick with just one strap after he started to waffle during a planning meeting and the ensuing bundle was performed without the risk of injury from his flailing arms and legs, which were securely fastened in a move that Boy George would have been proud of.

And what day out would be complete without taking a generous number of pictures of lycra clad ladies in Extreme Trifle gear. This time we even spent money on a new t-shirt, though we did have some trouble convincing the girls that "I love it the Wrong Way Round" does not have sexual connatations (ahem).

See you all at the London Motorcycle Show on January 30th where we'll be in the Bar or bothering exhibitors, or girls in lycra.