Off Road Training

After the "Driveway Disaster" previously reported we thought it best to make sure that the next time we took the bikes out we were far far away from normal civilisation. This is how we ended up in West Sussex. We had searched high and low for somewhere we could practice riding off-road that presented us with a realistic simulation of the terrain we will face on The Wrong Way Round.

By a stroke of luck our location manager (Matt) was able to track down somewhere that fitted the bill and so when his mum and dad finally went on holiday we grasped the opportunity to rag some mopeds round their back garden. Now obviously there were some short comings in how closely we could simulate the actual conditions we'll face but there wasn't anything we couldn't accomplish without a bit of ingenuity.

For starters we didn't even need to simulate the European part of the trip as West Sussex is also in Europe. So with a big tick against that box we moved straight on to the arid desert sections in Kazakhstan. The big burnt patch of ground at the bottom of the garden where the bonfire goes provided more than an able substitute for this albeit several thousands miles shorter. We made up for this by making Charlie ride up and down it for 2 hours while we went to the pub.

Next we moved on to the high terrain of Russia's Altay mountains. In this instance the incline of the river flood control embankment provided a good test of riding on steep gradient albeit several thousand metres lower. We made up for this by making Matt wear a gimp suit to simulate low levels of oxygen.

The wild and windswept steppes of Mongolia were an almost perfect match to the steps leading up to the pond and the pond itself more than gave us an insight in to crossing a Siberian river raging with meltwater.

The body-jarring Road of Bones section was demonstrated by taking it in turns to give each other the bumps, and sticking ants down our pants to simulate mosquito bites. And finally the general feeling of malnourishment, nausea and diarrhoea was simulated by allowing Nick to make our lunch.

And the results? In conclusion, T80's do suffer somewhat with traction on anything other than tarmac. Either the wheel goes round and moves mud but not the bike itself or the wheel doesn't have enough power to go round at all. This is however entirely consistent with predictions so from that point of view we are completely on track.

All that is left now is to explain to Matt's parents why they have been served a noise abatement order, why there are muddy circles on the grass, and why one of the garden gnomes suffered a slight breakage of the total destruction sort...