As everyone knows, pizzas are actually delivered by pre-pubescent youths on mopeds with as many scrape marks in their pants as down the sides of their bikes. Now it's not the scrape marks we are aspiring to here, rather the art of delivering a pizza by moped.
It is with great excitement then that after six tense weeks of waiting we have finally been given approval by Guinness World Records™ to attempt to break the record as part of our Wrong Way Round trip.
According to the shatterproof ruler and the drawing pins we stuck in our map of the earth, we calculate our trip is approx 18,000kms, however this assumes the earth is flat, and that we will not get lost or ride huge distances out of our way to go and look at a rock formation shaped like a bellend. So basically it's game on.
Now everyone knows that cold pizza in the morning is gert lush even if you wake up next to it and have to peel the cheese away from the duvet cover. However we're not so sure that a pizza a couple of months old will have quite the same appeal. In fact it'll probably be in a worse condition than Norris McWhirter by the time it arrives on a Siberian doorstep.
However we have checked and there is nothing in the rules which says the pizza has to be edible. As long as it was bought and paid for by the recipient and delivered to the recipient we might find ourselves in THE big book of records you used to love getting at Xmas just so you could find out who is the world's fattest dwarf or how many hot dogs someone could fit up one nostril whilst riding a unicycle.
Now all we need to do is find a Siberian who fancies a take away pizza delivered some time in August (ish)...
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